Dear Alice,

Are you kidding me? Those names are likely to turn most girls off. I've found that the majority of girls bristle at anything that sounds harsh, or porn-like. Maybe I'm just dating too many "nice" girls, but they have healthy sexual appetites so I doubt it. I've had better luck with muffin, coochie, sweet thing, than with anything more graphic. I'm no prude, at all, but seriously, use some creativity when trying to appeal to a sensual woman. Meat curtains, etc., just doesn't seem to be the way to a girl's heart.

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(2)
To the reader,

Make up your own nicknames for them. Like "Sally" or "Susana" for the vagina, or maybe "Peter" or "Louis" for the penis.