Dear Alice,

I too lost a family member a few years ago; I suppressed my grief for 5 whole years, which proved to be an immense psychological strain which I relieved by basically becoming a workaholic. I was always studying, reading, whatever. I never took time off, and never allowed myself to just let my hair down and cry. Recently, however, I lost a friend and this added pressure was too much to hold back. I totally lost it one day, and one of my professors walked in on me crying my eyes out. Naturally he was concerned, and wanted to know if I was alright. I ended up telling him the whole story, and he listened to my story, comforted me, and said that it was good that I was finally able to cry — it just showed that I was now ready to deal with this event in my life. I found talking to this teacher, whom I happened to like and trust a lot, helped me come to terms with my loss. My advice to you would be to find someone who you trust and just talk. It sounds like you have been doing that with your boyfriend, but you may want to consider talking to a trusted teacher, parent, or counselor as well.