Alice,

I can totally relate to "Straight man wants penis in mouth." After working with a therapist, we discovered that my desire to do this stemmed not from being a bi or homesexual, but instead from a desire — or need — to be "bad" or "naughty" in a secretive way. She is convinced something that happened in my childhood is responsible.

Although this realization hasn't stopped my desire to go down on guys, it has reassured me of my sexual orientation (straight), which I was beginning to question.

Hope this helps!

[back to top]
 

(2)

Dear Reader,

I'm also straight, and as an undergrad I had a similar desire. Mine was brought on more by sexual curiosity than the "scintillating" thought of fellatio. Nonetheless, I acted out this fantasy with a gay man I knew. It proved quite unappealing in the end (he didn't come in my mouth), but I satisfied my curiosity — no longer do I have male-to-male fantasies. It's also one memory I really don't appreciate having — no judgment, just personally, the thought of that guy's penis in my mouth is now off-putting to me.

For you, I can't recommend doing or not doing it. However, if the urge is so overwhelming you can't resist, well, do it with somebody you trust, know well, and has been tested for STIs.