Boy, this was spot on. Alice certainly knows shyness. I have come a good distance in overcoming my shyness, but there's still a long way to go. I still have a ton of trouble forming friendships — never mind romantic relationships.

Someday, someday...

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(2)

Dear Want to break out of the shell!,

I'm a shy and anxiety-riddled person. I couldn't even buy things on my own because going up to the checkout counter made me too nervous.

However, I'm actually much better about things like this now. (I still have my anxious moments, but they're nowhere near as bad as they were before.) In all honesty, the thing that helped me the most was just repeatedly doing whatever it was that made me shy and nervous, no matter how anxious it made me. Instead of having someone around to help me if I chickened out, I went in the store alone more and more and smiled at the cashier. I remembered to be polite, and it all made me feel much more confident in myself.

Whenever I feel nervous, I think, "These people don't know me, so even if I make a fool of myself, it's okay." You don't need such strong medication to make things like this go away. You learn some things by just doing them, and this is one of those things.

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(3)

To the reader:

I am the same way. I have always been this way. I was at my worst in high school. Now that I am in college, I am still shy, but I am more willing to socialize. I often find myself socializing more with people who know my friends. Or if I am with a friend and I am with their friends.

When I was more shy than I am now, people never talked to me. I have recognized that people often mistake shyness for arrogance and in my experience, people viewed me as being "stuck up" or "cocky." People don't realize that in order to engage in conversation with a shy person that they have to say something first! Don't let people make you feel like an outcast, its not your fault.

I would suggest going to class and start complaining about the class or an assignment. This usually sparks conversation. Typically after a few classes you can talk to people about anything not just class material. Don't be discouraged, you will find friends.

One more thing, the start of every semester is a new opportunity to find friends. Also you probably will develop what we call at my college "major friends": people who share your major that you have tons of classes with. If you see someone, say something like, "Aren't you in my (blank) class?" Also if you see someone a lot and they see you a lot, say, "hello" or do the "nod" even if you don't know them or give people a small smile. I have done this many times and have gotten a few friends out of it. Hope this helps.