Re: Beach Blanket Boners

In a recent question you answered, in which a young man wrote in concerning his spontaneous erections in the presence of half-clad women on the beach, you advised him to, "'Let go' in the ocean/sea if you start drilling for oil again by lunchtime ? if it's good enough for sperm whales, it's good enough for you."

That recommendation makes sense when one is only concerned about whether or not the young man is experiencing embarrassment in public due to the state of his genitals. However, your recommendation could end up giving him something about which to be much more embarrassed: a record as a sexual offender. Many states, counties, etc., have laws prohibiting public masturbation, and label such offenses as sex crimes. For instance, in Southern California, if a man is found masturbating by himself in a parked car on a public street, he is seen by the law as a potential sexual predator. By contrast, if a couple is caught having sex in the back of a parked car on a public street, they will most likely be cited only for lewd or indecent conduct. In short, the law takes a dim view of public auto-erotic stimulation, regardless of what the circumstances are surrounding the act, or the intention of the person committing that act.

Generally, your recommendations are well advised. In this particular instance, however, I cannot help but feel your recommendation misses the mark. By following your advice, this young man, or others, could inadvertently find themselves in a lot of trouble.

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Dear Alice,

You give good advice to this question, but I wonder if your last piece of advice might be dubious. You suggest that if everything else fails, the guy relieve his tension in the ocean.

I'm no legal expert, but this seems like the kind of behavior that might get someone thrown in jail. If somebody sees you masturbating in the water, or even thinks you are doing that, you might be in big trouble.

I think your advice is good, save this last piece of advice. But I would add: if the guy is still getting erections at the beach after trying the first few suggestions, he should consider going to more secluded beaches.

Guys who get erections at nude beaches are the guys who bring unwanted law enforcement attention to the beach. If too many people start getting hard-ons at a nude beach, it won't be too long before the beach gets shut down.