I just thought I would comment on this because I am very familiar with this situation.

I am a gay male, and my best friend is a straight female. A couple of months back, I started suspecting that she is feeling attracted to me. This went on for some time, until she started getting jealous of my dates, and would start acting weird around them or would pick all sorts of faults in them. I really valued her friendship and did not want to end it. So, I just confronted her one day, and asked her if there's something I should know.

In the ensuing discussion, it all came out, and she felt really embarrassed. I just explained to her that it was ok to have these feelings, but because of my sexuality, it would not be possible. Though she tried to get out of the discussion quickly, I went ahead and thoroughly discussed everything, just because if things were left unsaid, it would have made the relationship really awkward.

Today, I feel great saying that we are still best friends, and I am glad everything came out in the open and we were able to work things out in a mature fashion.

Thanks.

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Dear Reader,

I too am familiar with this situation and thought I would comment.

I hope this will help some as I know the situation from another angle. I'm a straight female, and a year or two ago my male best friend told me he was gay. I was shocked and, if I am to be honest, disappointed.

I loved him to bits and I still do. I guess in some ways if he did change his mind, I'd jump at the opportunity. But in other ways, I'm glad we never got the chance to risk losing everything we have.

I think he knows I used to love him that way, and I think that's why he was so gentle around the subject of his boyfriends, even though it was still natural for us to talk about stuff to do with boyfriends, etc.

Perhaps if your friend knows, he will confront you, like that guy above, but I know me and my best friend just formed an understanding.

He still tells me he loves me all the time, and it's allowed me to move on with everything. Because I know at the end of the day he does love me and he constantly reminds me of that. We hug, kiss (on the cheek) hang around in our incredibly close fashion and remind each other how we feel, but it's not in a sexual way. He's gay — that's just the way things are.

I hope my little ramblings have helped in some way. My advice is give him enough clues to catch on without chatting him up. And remember, just because he is gay doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Keep that thought with you and move on.

Cheers.

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To the reader:

I have to say that I have been in this situation before and it's a very difficult one to deal with. I actually started having sexual intercourse with him and he was confused about his sexuality because of it and ended things. It's one of the most difficult times I have been through, I thought it was something I had done. We are trying to stay friends but it is really rocky right now, I am hoping we can maintain our friendship that we had.

I think you should tell him how you feel because you need to let those feelings out, but make sure he knows that it is okay the way he feels about others and not act like you are forcing anything on him. I also would say that it would be best not to be romantic with him because he could change his mind and that will hurt you more than anything. I hope you the best.