I just wanted to add a little bit to this. I wasn't a party animal in college. And although I'm not sure I get to make this determination, I don't think I was a dork. I even went to a few parties and didn't drink, smoke, do pot, any of that stuff (yes, it IS possible), got home at a reasonable time if I wanted/ needed to, and still had a great time. And I discovered when I went to those parties and stayed sober that I wasn't the only one who did that. I made one of my first friends in college that way. We were both hanging out, watching the drunk people while we were without drinks, and we had a great time. And as time went on, I collected more and more of those friends. I also gained friends who did like to drink and party, but respected my choice not to. And once I got to be 21, I would be the designated driver, and got really good at knowing which bars gave decent-sized soft drinks that weren't watered down. Anyway, I just wanted to say that there's nothing wrong with not doing the party-hearty thing, and you're NOT alone. And I think it's far more important to do what you're comfortable with than to worry about fitting in. Actually, I think that's one of the biggest lessons a person should take away from college. Yeah, courses are important. But learning to be true to yourself and who you are is at least as important. And who you are — at least for now — is someone who doesn't need partying and staying up until all hours. There's nothing wrong with that.

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(2)
alice,

in response to this: i am 29-years-old and am straight edge. this basically means i don't drink, smoke, take any drugs, or have promiscuous sex. i have been straight edge for 11 years and will be forever, and believe me, there is nothing dorky about it! this person should be proud to be one of the few people to not conform to the self-destructiveness of these so-called social norms. i am originally from england. i now live in new zealand and have traveled the world. there are straight edge and poison free kids everywhere, so don't despair, or give in to peer pressure; always stay true to yourself. try boards. you will get the bad with the good, but i'm sure you can locate some good poison free kids in your area who can have fun without a chemical crutch. good times. stay true.

xjeremyx

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(3)
Hey Alice,

I'm 19, don't drink, don't smoke, don't use drugs. My current friends are fine with it, I don't try to stop them drinking and they don't try to make me drink (well, they sometimes do, but it's just joking around). Sometimes I get a bit of stick when I meet someone new, but after about 2 min., they realise they can't force me to drink and so carry on with their drink.

As for going to bed early I live at home and go to bed at 10pm every night. This is my choice, since I prefer to sleep all night rather than half the night and half the day. Again, my friends find it a bit odd since they stay up later, but they're fine with it. If I'm out at a club or someone's house, I'll stay up until everyone else goes to sleep, but at home it's 10pm.

After all the above, ask any of my friends who the craziest person they know is, and chances are they'll say it's me. Mostly because what they do drunk I do sober (like skinny dipping at 3am in a public park lake).

You should never feel bad or awkward about how you choose to live.

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(4)

Dear Alice,

This is in response to the "Am I a dork for not being a party animal?":

You're not a dork! Your description of yourself sounds like me exactly. If your college has more than about 400 students, then you'll certainly find people like yourself. Just keep your eye out. :) -J

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(5)

Alice,

I'm not a party animal either. I'm a social drinker, no pot or cigarettes, and that's fine. There is a time for work and a time for play, and you need to find people with a good balance of both and THOSE people are the ones that you'll be friends with. I'm just like you! When I read your letter, I instantly thought of myself and the same way I felt. But there are always people who share your interests and lifestyle — just don't be afraid to talk to them and be shy like I was!

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(6)

Alice,

I'm 23 and I've never partied, smoked, had drugs, or drank any more than I can handle. I've never been called a dork, and I'm actually relatively popular. A lot of people actually look up to me and think I have some dignity. Being a non-conformist doesn't make one a dork; acting unwisely does. Plus, the smartest people I know all go to bed early and rise early.

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(7)

To the reader:

I feel ya homie, if you're not into partying it can be tough. I'd just keep it real though and be you. I'm in my last year of college now and I definitely had trouble meeting people because first off, I didn't live in the dorms. I was also really busy, I had a job with a lot of hours and was taking 17 credits a term of tough classes so I had very little free time. And I did try to go to parties initially but I always got back from work late and was exhausted. They were places to meet people, but not my kind of thing. I'd been around drug fiends and lazy people like that all my life and got sick of it. I'm more into video games and chillin listening to music, but its definitely been difficult to find people with similar tastes. If you live in the dorms though, talk to some people in your hall. I'm sure you'll find someone similar. Good luck with that.