Dear Reader,

The fluid that you're describing is probably pre-ejaculatory fluid (pre-cum). Pre-cum, released during sexual arousal, is a clear, mucus-like secretion of the Cowper's glands that may or may not contain sperm. Pre-cum appears to neutralize the acid from urine in the urethra and to provide lubrication, paving the way for sperm.

Other less likely explanations for this liquid could be mild incontinence during stress (including sexual arousal), causing urine to leak and mix with pre-cum that's released, adding to its volume; infection (except discharge related to this condition occurs whether or not you are aroused); or, even less common, improperly working interurethral valves. It's even possible, though less likely, that you're experiencing orgasms that are so mild that they go unnoticed (except for the ejaculation). Perhaps you could pay closer attention the next time you're aroused. Based on what you've written, however, it's more than likely that your penis is releasing plain ol', ordinary pre-cum.

Men vary in the amount of pre-cum they produce, from none at all, to just a drop, to a significant release of fluid, all of which can be normal. Age, intensity of sexual excitement, and duration of touching can all affect amount of pre-cum.

Since this is probably a normal situation for you, perhaps you can think about ways of shifting the focus of how you both view the volume of your pre-cum. What is it that makes you think your body's response grosses out your girlfriend? Have you ever asked her about it? "Does it bother you that I have a leaky faucet?" Or, maybe this can open up an opportunity for you two to learn more about and learn from the situation. Sometimes, the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable are others. "Honey, look, you're wet for me, I'm wet for you!"

Lastly, you can discuss this with a urologist, who may provide reassurance that there's nothing wrong with your plumbing, or who may determine more definitively if this is in fact a problem.

Alice

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