Alice,
My girlfriend and I have great sex, but lately she has been asking me to talk dirty to her. The problem with this is that I thought I'd already been doing this. I don't know what to say, literally. Any hints on what I might be able to say to her? I already talk kind of dirty to her, but she wants it nasty. What do I say?
Thanks,
"Speechless"
Dear "Speechless,"
Based on what you've written to Alice, it's not clear what will stimulate your girlfriend's aural senses. Without knowing what you've already tried, the things you've already said might seem "hot," "dirty," or "nasty" to you or to Alice, but they might seem "vanilla," neutral, or "cold" to her. Only she knows for sure what words will work to turn her on. So you need to learn from her. What kinds of words and/or talking do you consider "nasty"? You can ask her to take a turn "talking dirty" to you, to say to you the kinds of things she's eager for you to say during sex.
It might turn out that your girlfriend's too shy to "talk dirty"; she could write the words, phrases, or comments on paper. Then you can ask her to leave the note taped to the bathroom mirror or kitchen door.
If it turns out that you're too shy or uncomfortable to say what she'd like you to say, then the two of you need to talk about it together. On the other hand, if you're comfortable with what you have learned, and since it turns her on, then you can talk each other to bliss.
- Alice
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