Dear NOASSATALL!,

Your desire for a bulbous backside may butt up against your genes, not to mention gravity and aging. But don't despair, despite your flat-assed family, some exercises and fashion choices can lift and tighten your tail — which, by the way, is comprised mostly of fat and gluteal muscle tissue.

Exercises

Front Lying Leg Lifts Lying face down, lift up one leg as high as possible. Hold for the count of five, and then return to the starting position, with the leg on the floor. Repeat with the opposite leg. Perform 2 - 3 sets of 8 - 12 repetitions for each leg. Be careful not to lift your chest off the floor. (This exercise may place stress on the lower back, so it's not recommended for persons with lower back problems.)

Kickbacks
On all fours (hands and knees), with weight evenly distributed, lift up one leg so that the thigh is parallel to the ground. Kick the foot back so that the leg is straight, with the foot directly behind the body. Bring the foot in, forming an "L" at the knee. Perform 8 - 12 repetitions, and then switch legs. Do 2 - 3 sets for each leg. Ankle weights may be added as strength is developed. Be sure to keep your weight evenly distributed between your hands and your knee that's on the ground.

Lunges (a trainer at the gym can critique your form so that you safely get the most out of lunges and squats, which are described below)
Beginning with feet that are hip width apart, take one long step forward. Toes should be straight or slightly pointed inward, if necessary, for balance. The heel needs to make contact with the floor first, then the rest of the foot. Bend the knee until your thigh is parallel to the floor, with the lead knee over the lead foot. Keep your back leg as straight as possible. Shoulders need to be over the hips, not leaning forward or backward. Push back off the lead leg, with the heel leaving the floor last. Repeat with the opposite leg. Perform 2 - 3 sets of 8 - 12 repetitions with each leg. Looking in a mirror helps to keep good posture. As you become stronger, you may add weights, by holding dumbbells in each hand or a barbell centered on the upper back.

Squats
The feet need to be positioned shoulder width apart, with the toes pointed slightly outward. Your head needs to be in a neutral position, looking straight ahead. Flatten or slightly arch the back. Flex the hips backward and bend the knees and ankles, as if you were about to sit. Your knees should be over your feet. Descend slowly until the tops of the thighs are parallel to the floor. Avoid bouncing when you reach the bottom position. Be careful to sit back when you are in the downward phase — don't shift your weight forward. Keep your back straight and your chest up. Don't round your back or pull your knees together. Extend your knees and hips to stand upright, slightly arching the back. It's important to look in a mirror when performing this exercise. Do 2 - 3 sets of 8 - 12 repetitions. Weights may be added for advanced exercisers.

Squeezes
Standing or sitting, take a deep breath, squeeze each buttock (cheek) together, exhale slowly while holding the squeeze for a few seconds, and then release. Try 5 - 10 reps of this one, each time squeezing a little bit tighter. This technique can be used almost anywhere: in the car, waiting in line at the post office, during a meeting, or in bed. If you're sitting while squeezing, your upper body will probably rise up a bit, which may also raise some eyebrows if you're in class or around a conference table.

Blading, Skating, Biking, and Stair-climbing
They don't call it "blading butt" and "biker's ass" for nothing! Except for stair-climbing at a gym, these activities require equipment, but they can firm a fanny like no one's business while also building leg muscle and cardiovascular health.

Fashionable alternatives

Pants, underwear, and bathing suits can change the definition of your derriere by elevating and pulling it, or simply making it appear to be shaped in a way that only you know it's not. If you don't mind the filling and feeling, padded underwear (similar to what padded, push-up bras can do for small breasts) can create the illusion of a fully formed butt. A lot of clothing styles can also do the trick, and not all of them are expensive. If you do have some extra cash around, try some French designers who seem to produce rear-ends with the same joie di vie as their wines and desserts.

If, in the end, all of this upkeep is too much of a pain in the ass, remember that the bum is just one small part of our bodies to which we, and the media, pay more attention to than most anyone else — no ifs, ands, or butts.

Alice

Related Q&As

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