Dear Reader,

Although some folks (such as Nosepicker, the past Go Ask Alice! reader to whom you refer) indulge an inclination towards nostril excavation well into adulthood, most children stop nose picking when they reach school age and, similar to your son (it's not clear how old he is), hear a few probing comments from friends. If your son continues to pick his nose despite this negative feedback and/or teasing, he may need some parental assistance to help him learn to stop.

It's good to find out if there are any underlying medical issues (such as allergies) that keep his nose runny and itchy. If he is sniffle-free but avidly picking, then odds are that this has become a habit. Does he have any other annoying behaviors, perhaps? Does anyone else in your family have annoying behaviors? If you have not already explained your objections to nose picking, now is the time to do so. You may want to highlight the potential health risks and consequences of nose picking, or point out to him that the teasing may stop if he stops picking (perhaps any anxiety he may have about getting teased exacerbates the behavior), since, at this stage, your son seems less interested in society's opinion of this pastime. Making tissues available around the house (and perhaps including a pocket pack in his backpack) can serve as acceptable substitutes for his finger in case an irresistible urge comes up. At the same time during this conversation, you can also listen to his feelings concerning his nose picking and being teased.

Alternatively, if you think your son is not aware of his behavior (for some people, nose picking becomes an unconscious habit), then you might try gently reminding him when he picks. Some experts suggest putting a band-aid on the favorite finger so that it doesn't glide easily into a waiting nostril, reminding him of what he is about to do.

If you've already discussed these issues, and if your son continues to pick despite your pleas and rational explanations, it's possible that his nose picking is an issue of control. Body parts are one of the few things that children can control. Add the horrified reactions that parents have that are provoked by creative use of various parts, and you have a recipe for parental embarrassment and childhood glee. If you suspect that your son has used nose mining as a way of digging at you, then your best response is to ignore the behavior, difficult as it may be. You can leave the room, or request that your son go someplace private to pick his nose. If he sees that a finger up his nose no longer pushes your buttons, he will be more likely to move on to other pursuits that may be more acceptable to his peers (and possibly to you).

If none of these ideas make a difference, including ignoring his behavior and not reacting for a period of time, there's a chance that a serious condition could be at work. Excessive nose picking in public might be an indicator of Asperger's Disorder, a mild form of autism characterized by social isolation, eccentric interests and activities, and a general tendency to behave inappropriately around others. The Center for the Study of Autism web site and the Asperger's Disorder Home page can help you consider if this is a possibility. If you're still concerned about your son's behavior, a pediatrician is your next resource.

Alice

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