In response to Just can't orgasm and all other female orgasm questions, I would like to say the following: my boyfriend always seemed really great at oral sex. I felt I orgasmed every time. I also felt I orgasmed during intercourse. However, I then mastered masturbation manually and using vibrators and I experienced such intense orgasms that I questioned whether or not I had actually ever orgasmed. I then had very high expectations of what I wanted my orgasms to be every time I had oral sex with my boyfriend. I realized I was wrong in thinking this when I read that one should enjoy what one feels instead of waiting to feel something specific. I also determined that I had in fact been orgasming all along, but they were very subtle orgasms. I feel badly for putting my boyfriend through my self-discovery and making him think he never pleasured me. We are also going to try to incorporate a vibrator in our love making just for fun, NOT because it's better or because my boyfriend isn't good. My suggestion for any woman trying to orgasm is to try vibrators so you will know what an INTENSE orgasm is like and then just relax and enjoy what you feel — wherever it may fall on the spectrum of intensity. And don't be afraid to try new things: ice, Altoid mints, vibrators, whatever! Just have fun.

-the big O

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Dear Reader,

You mentioned the problem of things getting "annoying" down there. I have the same problem in that my skin starts feeling really irritated from too much rubbing. Some water-based lube may help things go more smoothly. You didn't mention if you used fantasy along with your fingers. Your imagination may just be the secret ingredient that you need, and you don't have to share your fantasy with anyone.

Please keep trying and don't give up on yourself. I wish you many stimulating times in the future!