Great website ? read it every week and always learn something new!

I can relate to what this guy is talking about. Though I shave, I have a real young face, too. I'm now in a pretty good job (often held by older people), and the comments passed about my "youthfulness" are too numerous to count. It's annoying and aggravating at best, and at worst it has undermined my authority, people's perception of the quality of my work. Wearing more formal shirts (with tie) and glasses (I actually need them to read) may or may not help out ? sometimes it works for me and sometimes it doesn't. I am very aware of how I deal with people when it comes to this. For those individuals who could care less how young I am and/or look, I tend to be more relaxed and casual in my dealings (which is my preferred way of working with & for people). For those who I know or suspect have age issues, I tend to be more reserved and cautious in our interactions. People like this can tend to misconstrue ANY of your normal behaviors to reinforce their own negative stereotypes about young people.

If people are being ageist, there's often not much one can do, except call them on the behavior. In business, this can be hard to do, but it is possible to accomplish with a little finesse. An indirect, non-accusatory comment about ageism can often get the message across without confrontation. When approached with care, a general comment about the stereotype/problem might also induce a little guilt. Doing this has enabled me to let someone else know I recognize the prejudiced behavior, find it insulting and unacceptable. Do not confront the person in a workplace situation ? people like this may deny or not recognize the problem with their own behavior. And the person you confront might just claim you're being difficult.

I often feel my being young & having even younger looks only truly becomes a non-issue after people see the quality of my work. As you mentioned, Alice, building professional connections based on a good professional reputation are the best way to cope with this problem. Often colleagues (especially if a little older) are quite willing to advocate for you when they believe in your work ? I've found this to be critical at certain points in my career. Unfortunately, when something like this takes place during the interview process, it seems to me near impossible to counter even if the bias may impact the decision being made.

Good luck!

[back to top]
 

(2)
Dear Alice,

I found this article late... but my husband has the same issue and he is now 28. It is extremely frustrating and there are even times when people don't want to serve him alcohol. He has very little body hair, and says he always felt like he didn't complete puberty.

He just recently went to a very good doctor to seek a diagnosis for Adult ADD. What has transpired is life changing. She did blood work and tested his testosterone level. It turns out that he has a very low level of testosterone. Hopefully now he will become more muscular and grow out of his baby face.

We are not sure of the cause... but my husband is asthmatic and when he was young, he had a doctor that often over medicated. I don't know if either of these is a factor... but they could be.

Anyway, just before my husband went to the doctor, we talked about trying to conceive. Since he has low testosterone levels, this treatment will actually improve our chances. Before this, we most likely would not have been able to make a baby.

It's really life changing.