I have a son who got addicted to smoking black tar heroin and it got to where it controlled his life. He tried Methadone and that didn't work for him. He took a dose of methadone every morning and then he still had to use the heroin. It's a terrible addiction. Today my son is clean and sober for 16 months this October 26, 2001. We had an intervention and got him into in-house treatment at a good treatment center. He is in a sober living house that is connected to his rehab treatment center. I hope your brother can find a good treatment center and work the 12 steps and turn his life around. There is hope.

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(2)
Dear Alice,

My brother, who I love more than life itself, just recently got out of rehab for heroin and other drugs. I've always known he did drugs and experimented, but my worst nightmare had come true. My parents are divorced, but my family is a normal middle class family. No one could have predicted this. I went through a two-month period where I thought I was dead. My life was so messed up and I felt like no one understood. My brother would come into my room in the middle of the night talking gibberish and running around and yelling and then just go back into his room and think everything was fine the next morning. We would find him in the bathroom throwing up all the time. I have images of him all the time, but I try so hard to get through this. He tried to detox off it himself, but it's not possible. You need help. You can't do it alone. He went through a week of detox and then rehab. He's been out of rehab for about a-month-and-a-half, and yesterday (3/1/03) he got his 30 days sober key chain from his NA meeting. I went to a few meetings with him and learned so much. I give hope and love to all who are suffering.

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(3)
Dear Alice,

Right now, my boyfriend is addicted to heroin. We have done everything to help him. He has been clean a week, but is on his way on his bike, in the rain, to go get some. I am disgusted because we have a ten-month-old baby girl. In my opinion, if you have done all you can do, and been there for him, let him hit his rock bottom. From what I've heard from people, drug addicts need to hit rock bottom. Cut off contact with him and let him lose everything. When he decides to change for himself and not for everyone else, he'll come crawling back. When he does, offer your support as much as you can. You need to show him that he can't use and abuse you, but that you will be there for him. Good luck, and I hope your brother gets his life straight.

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(4)
Dear Alice,

I, myself, have a drug problem. I'm currently in recovery and have been clean for over a year. It hasn't been easy. It's never easy for the user or the users' friends and family. The hardest part about being close to someone with a problem is you can't help them until they want help. And you can't make them want help. There are all kinds of programs out there to help addicts, but they have to ask.

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(5)
Dear Heroin Hater,

It breaks my heart to see those who advise you to cut off all contact with this person. This is the same ignorance that has people cutting off contact with a person because he/she is gay or is dating someone whom they do not approve of.

While I can understand that this person has been hurt by the actions of an addict, there is no justification in the complete denial of a person and their afflictions. I myself am an addict and I harbor intense guilt over what I put my friends and family through, and what I continue to put them through. While you must look out for yourself, there are ways to still help this person. It may seem cliché, but the best advise there is is to lock up your valuables and open your heart. Believe me, it is what we need.

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(6)

To the reader,

You are not alone in this situation — my wife and I are going through the same thing with her son — I am afraid it becomes a case of self preservation! We have now come to the conclusion, hard as it may sound, that he is a lost cause and that we must preserve some quality of life for us or all three will go down. As you say, the drugs are the most important thing — my wife's son was a heroin user and managed to become clean for five years before returning to them. I am afraid that the user has to want to change — if they don't, then there is nothing you can do. I wish you all the best.

J