Dear Reader,

In reality, the clitoris is perfectly placed. The challenge is for you and your partner to find and cultivate its potential. You might consider the clitoris to be "inaccessible" because in-and-out intercourse does not touch your button of joy. Perhaps it is because the glans (the head of a clitoris) swells during high arousal and hides under the clitoral hood. Even though the glans — made up of 6,000 to 8,000 sensory nerve endings — is "in hiding," it is still a source of incredible pleasure for many women.

Generally speaking, touching or pressing the clitoris, directly or indirectly, during intercourse will increase a woman's potential to orgasm. Otherwise, it's like trying to get somewhere in an elevator without pressing the button. The good ol' missionary style (where the man is on top of the woman) works well for a man to move his penis in and out of a woman's vagina, but it may not provide stimulation to the clitoris. So, a woman can use her fingers, a man can use his fingers, she can move her hips to reach his pubic bone, or he can change the angle of his hips. When a woman is on top, this allows her to have more control over the amount of stimulation, rhythm, and pacing that it will take for her to climax.

Although you're interested in ways to orgasm without "artificial stimulation," Alice wonders what "artificial" means? Fingers? Vibrators and other sex toys? Using sex toys is an option. The key is for a woman and her partner to have the confidence to know that her body is perfect, the courage to explore her individual responses on her own, the trust to share this information with a caring partner, and the humor to laugh as you learn together.

Alice

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