Go Ask Alice!: Father died, grief grows [Reader Responses]

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Grief and loss

Father died, grief grows [Reader Responses]

Originally Published: April 07, 2000

When I was about your age, I lost my father and thirteen months later, my brother died, both from walking pneumonia. It came as a total shock to my family. My advice is to deal with the pain. Allow yourself to feel the pain. It gets better, but it doesn't go away. At least, though, you can say that you were there for him. If no one else was, you were there. And that's all that you could do -- and all you needed to do. Be content on that level. Something that helps me is to think of the wonderful times I had with my dad and be thankful that I had those years with him. Even though I cannot have my father back, I try and live a life that takes all of the positives of what made him special and express it in my own life. That is my way of remembering him. There are so many different ways to grieve; no one really knows which is right or wrong. But keeping in touch with your feelings will help you deal with this pain. Please take good care of yourself and treat yourself with kindness and love... you deserve it, especially now.

chandra

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