Dear Reader,

Well, it beats going to the mall. Alice is going to guess your concerns: spanking is weird, it's for leather-bound S&M'ers (sadomasochism enthusiasts), and you're not sure you have it in you to give the gift that keeps on stinging.

The first two are easy: all kinds of people try all kinds of sex play that strays a little, or a lot, from the "standard" man-on-top-of woman missionary position to using fantasy, food, leather, and role-reversal, among other things.

Now to the part about rising to the occasion of satisfying your girlfriend's birthday wish: could your words, "it might be a fun idea," also mean, "it might be fun to try"? Maybe you can think of the upcoming spanking as a one-time experiment -- one that you won't have to repeat unless... you learn that it's exciting, fun, and safe for both of you. Okay, let's say you decide to go ahead with this birthday spank-a-roo -- could you start this year with just one spank for good luck as a way of easing you into this new activity? Or, could you offer one spank for every two years or decade of your partner's life? This may be enough to make her b'day a happy one, and if she's eighty-five, your hand will probably appreciate the compromise.

Good for your mate to let you in on her desires and fantasies, not to mention including you in them. Remember, though, that you are half of your relationship, so it's only fair and healthy for you to let your girlfriend know how you feel and what you want -- even if it's not your special day. Actually, you're already gift-giving by considering her request in the first place, especially if it's one that doesn't quite sit well with you.

Alice