Dear Obsessive,

Since Dave ain't likely to do it with you, jammin' with someone who's aware of your existence, and who cares about you, has gotta be the healthier road to long-term social and sexual satisfaction. No doubt, if Mr. Matthews got to know and appreciate you - your charm, intelligence, ability to express your feelings - he'd see you as more than just adoring fan #41...million. Thus, if he were into women for more than sex alone, your chances of crashing into each other would be that much greater. And who's to say that Dave's sexy voice, creative talents, media sound bytes, and public image would make him a nice rock 'n' roll partner? Based on Alice's brushes with celebrity, sex appeal, artistic ability, and a VH-1 special don't necessarily make for smooth sailing on the sea of love.

Now, without dismissing Dave completely, could he serve as a kind of lubricant, or crutch, during your transition to relationship reality with your present or future partners? Why not crank "Under The Table And Dreaming" the next time your boyfriend is over? Plaster your room with DMB posters or tape a concert ticket onto your mate's forehead for constant Dave reminders. Gosh, for now you could even pretend that your boyfriend actually is Dave Matthews as a way to get you back in the mood. By the way, such fantasizing is perfectly normal. Going a little deeper, is there something about Dave's personality — maybe his apparent passion for life — that excites you? Can you share this news with your boyfriend to help him work with you to strengthen your relationship? He's probably not a mind reader and might welcome your icon-inspired ideas.

Many of us get sucked into wanting to have, or to be like, the rich and famous. And why not? They're usually pushed at us as perfect, loved by everyone, and definitely livin' la vida loca. If you're not happy with yourself, your friends, and life, and if you can't quite get it on in a personal way with those who are around you everyday, the bedroom eyes of an icon who never rejects can be pretty comforting.

At some point in the not-too-distant future, feeling satisfied with yourself and the people who are really in your life, without fantasizing about your interactions as bigger-than-life music videos, would be important for your mental health and personal growth. If you can't get to that state of mind, a road trip to talk with a counselor could be your ticket to inner harmony.

Rock on,

Alice