I came out (to myself) early this winter, and for a while I thought I was the only one. I told my close friends, then my acquaintances, then got up the guts to just discuss these issues with friends in public. I was so surprised when a noticeable proportion of the people I told I was bi responded, "Oh yeah? Me too."

But...but....but "everybody is straight!"

Guess not. But my parents had never really mentioned gayness in any way, other than to vaguely "say the right things" with our liberal friends. I was scared to death to come out to them, although I thought it would be OK. I was angry that they had never presented these issues to me. I never knew that "lots of people are attracted to those of the same sex" and "that's totally OK." Even in their own daughter. After all, I myself had always said vaguely, "sure, I support gays," but when it was suddenly ME, I was washed over in a wave of self-directed homophobia. It's all over, visible and invisible, in our society. I was terrified, but I was also furious. I wished I'd "seen myself" before with my parents, in class, and elsewhere. But the images and discussions were all straight, straight, straight.

Well, last Saturday my parents visited me at school and I came out to them. It was awesome. It went better than I could possibly have imagined. "If that's how you are, that's fine," said my dad. "What matters to us is that you're our daughter." And then my parents came to our team's last softball game of the season (the actual purpose of the visit) and cheered through two games and four hours. I was really still "their daughter" and that's what counted.

Anyway, the reason I am telling you this is that I wanted to thank you so much for your wonderful response to "Jim"'s question of March 26, 1999 entitled Excellent site, but could you take out the gay stuff? I would have given anything to have heard as a kid, or a high-schooler, even before I started questioning, "Gay/lesbian/bi is OK." "Plenty of people are LGB." I am very grateful that my parents are so accepting, but I still wish that they had discussed these issues personally with me when I was younger. I see your site's insistence on visibility as a valuable first step -- after all, if kids and teens see these issues and people here, they might ask their parents. If schools link to Go Ask Alice!, they will be letting the ten percent of kids who don't see themselves anywhere in Health class discussion finally know they are not alone.

I expected, when I clicked on Jim's question, that you would refuse to remove the LGB content. The answer I found, though, said so in a manner that was so intelligent, so eloquent, and so constructive that I wanted to write this comment. Most of all, your response picked out the right reason for keeping this section available: not for abstract issues of "combating homophobia" or "activism." Before anyone can become active in those lofty goals, he or she has to deal very personally with a very personal and scary thing in his or her own life.

Thank you for letting readers in this process know that they are not alone.

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Dear Alice,

RE: Excellent Site, But Could You Take Out The Gay Stuff?: I loved your answer. It was well thought out and a touching emotive statement of support said in a meaningful way. It was not lost on this Gay Person Who did fit the profile of teen suicide. I am thirty-five and if there had been an Ask Alice willing to take a chance and tell the truth in 1985 when I was a Freshman, then I may never have gotten married and then had to divorce a nice girl because I was Gay. To all the people who don't want to see it, You would feel differently if you had to grow up in a gay world where it was weird if you liked girls and you got beat up for kissing your boyfriend. I cannot thank you enough for trying to help the next generation. I wish someone had been there for me.

Thank you, Geoffrey

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Dear Alice,

I would like to say that I just found your column and I love it! I had to respond to Jim about wanting to take out the gay/lesbian and bisexual "stuff." I am a 37 yr. old woman with 3 kids, I have been married twice and was always very depressed in my marriages. Of course I got 3 wonderful children out of them, but in the process, I hurt 2 good men and myself. I have been out now for the last 7 yrs. and I have never been happier! To my surprise and delight, all my friends, family, and coworkers have been very supportive. I only wish that I had done this many yrs. ago when I knew that something was always missing in my relationships with men. I knew at a very young age that I was a lesbian, but I was in denial because of the fear of being rejected by society, friends, family, and the church! With so much information and support groups out there for gays/lesbians and bisexuals, I can only hope that the younger generation of us will have it easier. We all need to teach our children that to love is wonderful no matter what the genders, race, or religions are. All my children know about me and they are completely accepting. I am their mom and me loving another woman doesn't change that. My words to all gay/lesbian or bisexual teens out there: Don't go through your life knowing "who" you are but not "being" who you are. Life is too short to pretend to live a life that is not right for you. I know, I did it for too many years. In ending, let me say that I am happier now than I have ever been and I am a much better mother, too... Peace to all.

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Alice,

I think it's absolutely ridiculous to take out information that is so important for today's youth — because of some jerk's religious beliefs.

Grow with the times, homosexuality is more public than it has ever been.

GLBTQ youth need your support the most.

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Wow, I found your response very truthful. Back when I was in ninth grade, there was this kid that was great at everything — he was in several clubs, theater, was in his senior year with scholarships, accepting family, etc... And one day, he drove over to the bay bridge and flung himself off of it. Nobody suspected anything. In his voicemails to his friends, he told them he loved them and that he couldn't take being rejected constantly for being gay. One of the saddest things was to see how it affected everybody around him.

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BLESS YOUR HEART, Alice! I am 45 now and out and proud. Yet there was a time back in small town Wisconsin, when I was not out and and very much so in the closet! Growing up I was suicidal and with drawn from my pears just becauce I didnt fit in. I found my self contemplating suicide. Lucky for me I have a mother who saw my pain and intervened. Thanks for standing up to that Principal. For Crying out loud its 2008 already. Keep up the AWESOME work!

Wisconsin Willy