Dear Reader,

The causes of chronic lateness are as numerous as minutes in a day. Why, there's oversleeping, lines at the post office, that damn traffic jam, or the 'ol trying to accomplish too much with too little time. Cultural norms could also be the culprit: some national mindsets put timeliness next to godliness, while other people take the more relaxed laissez-faire approach that accommodates lateness and even no-shows. Sure, slack can be cut for the occasional class, meeting, or chore that went into overtime, but the desire to control a situation or come off as superior in it is too often the key that winds the tardy one's clock. By keeping you waiting, your boyfriend could be saying, "I'm going to set the agenda here; my stuff is more important than hers; she can wait, blah, blah, blah." Whatever the specific causes of constant lateness, isn't it ultimately disrespectful to the ones left waiting on the corner? If you feel that you deserve to be met on time, and that your time is as valuable as your boyfriend's (Alice is sure that it is), then this disrespect tack may be a good one to take in your quest to get your friend to be more punctual. Maybe you could set the schedule half of the time, rather than leaving the decision-making and delays to him.

Time management/self-management tips abound in the following archived Go Ask Alice! Q&As: Always late, Life management, and Procrastination. They might help the late one to arrive on time, but just telling him what you've told Alice may get you the results you want more quickly -- before your patience really runs out.

Alice