Dear Reader,

Depression is a disease that many people are unfamiliar with or unwilling to consider when thinking about the health of a loved one. It's possible this is what is going on with your parents. In any case, you may want to evaluate the attention your brother is receiving from health care professionals: Is your brother's mental health consistently monitored by the doctor who prescribed him his medicine? Or by another qualified professional? Does he see a counselor or therapist on a regular basis? Sometimes, drugs given to treat depression and ADD/ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder) produce negative side-effects, but changing the dosage of these drugs, or the use of different medicines, can achieve a more desired result. Counseling, along with drug therapy, is often more beneficial than medication alone. Although you are the person closest to your brother emotionally, it's very important to seek professional help to confirm what you believe to be your brother's health problems.

Here are some other questions and issues to consider:

Have you talked privately with your brother about how he feels? Why is he moody and crying? Is he having an easier time at school? Has he noticed a difference — good or bad — since he began taking the new medications? Thirteen can be a rough age; excessive moodiness and crying, however, is not normal.

What else could be contributing to your brother's depression? You say you've practically raised him. How much quality time and attention has your brother received from your parents in the past? Now? Any chance family counseling could be helpful?

Once you've fully assessed the situation, you may want to try talking with your parents again. If you haven't in the past, you can tell them you'd like the three of you to set aside some time for a conversation. Calmly give them your assessment and ask them about their perspective, too. Let them know why you're so concerned. Remember to keep the focus on what can be done to help your brother.

If they remain unreceptive to what you have to say, then you can consider other avenues for help and support. Who will listen to you? A close family friend or relative? A counselor or teacher at your brother's school? Ask her or him for advice, based on what s/he's seen in your brother and/or known about your parents.

You may feel alone in your concern about your brother, but know that there are others out there who care, too. Sometimes, they just need to know what's going on. And be sure to make time to take care of yourself in the process. To remain strong and help your brother it might not hurt to make an appointment to talk with a counselor for yourself.

Alice

Related Q&As

Finding low-cost counseling

Can I treat depression on my own?

What is attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)? Does Ritalin help?

Am I depressed?

Friend is depressed — how to help?

I think my boyfriend's depressed — what do I do?