Dear Alice,
I know you are very busy trying to answer all the questions you get. I never got a response a few months back when I asked you about mole removal during pregnancy. That problem has been tended to. But now I am so worried about my thirteen-year-old brother. He is on medications for depression and ADD. I feel he was never depressed before he began medications. Now, three months after being on the medicine, he is always moody and crying tears. I worry so much. My parents think the medicine and doctor are saints because his grades have improved since the medicine. I have practically raised my brother. I know him better than my parents. I spend days and evenings with him to know that he has severe depression and extremely low confidence.
What to do when my parents won't listen to me?
Dear Reader,
Is your brother's mental health consistently monitored by the doctor who prescribed him his medicine, or by another qualified professional? Sometimes, drugs given to treat depression and ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder) produce negative side-effects, but the dosage of these drugs, or the use of different medicines, can achieve a more desired result. Counseling, along with drug therapy, is often more beneficial than medication alone. Alice also asks this question because, although you are the person closest to your brother emotionally, it's very important to seek professional advice and diagnoses to confirm what you believe to be your brother's health problems.
Here are some other questions and issues to consider:
Have you talked privately with your brother about how he feels? Why is he moody and crying? Is he having an easier time at school? Has he noticed a difference -- good or bad -- since he began taking the new medications? Thirteen can be a rough age; excessive moodiness and crying, however, is not normal.
What else could be contributing to your brother's depression? You say you've practically raised him. How much quality time and attention has your brother received from your parents in the past? Now? Any chance family counseling could be helpful?
Once you've fully assessed the situation, try talking with your parents again. If you haven't in the past, tell them you'd like the three of you to set aside some time for a conversation. Sit down with them and calmly give them your assessment and ask them what theirs is, too. Let them know why you're so concerned. What can be done to help your brother?
If they remain unreceptive to what you have to say, then it's time to seek help elsewhere. Who will listen to you? A close family friend or relative? A counselor or teacher at your brother's school? Make a point to speak with this person about your brother. Ask him/her for advice, based on what s/he's seen in your brother and/or known about your parents.
You may feel alone in your concern about your brother, but know that there are others out there who care, too -- sometimes, they just need to know what's going on.
- Alice
Go Ask Alice! is not an emergency or instant response service. If you are in an urgent situation, please click here to view a list of 24 hour support services and hotlines.
Parents can't see that their son is depressed
