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Child abuse
Was I molested?
Originally Published: December 11, 1998 ~ Last Updated / Reviewed on: January 26, 2001
 
Dear Alice,

I really don't know what to call my situation. Some people say I was molested, others say I was sexually assaulted in the third degree, and others call it sexual misconduct. But when I was thirteen years old, I was touched by a fifteen-year-old boy on the bus for six months. I didn't want this or invite it. I would often fight and say no. He used to fondle my thighs and go into my pants. What is this called? Please e-mail me back.

K

 

Dear K,

In Alice's heart, she does not think it is important to find a label for what happened to you. It's not that the incidents aren't important, but the label is not as important as what those six months mean to you. If pushed, however, Alice would call these events inappropriate and non-consensual.

You were in a situation in which you didn't feel comfortable. You may have many other feelings attached to, or generated by, memories of these incidents. There is unfinished business here because you've either requested or gotten input from other people for more information, and, possibly, for some support, maybe to release some of the burden you may feel. However, each label they offer you has a value judgment attached to it; you are the one who needs to define what these incidents mean to you. IF you'd like help sorting out this, as well as any feelings you may have, a specially trained counselor can help you. Here are some resources for assistance:

Alice

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