Dear Alice,
It's past Thanksgiving vacation and I am still not happy my first-year
at college. I don't
feel like I have a solid routine and yet I feel like I'm in a rut. I
have a few friends but they're not really people I want to spend my next
four years with and I feel like the cliques have already been decided
and I have trouble running up to people and introducing myself anyway.
I'm bored all of the time and I sleep an ungodly amount of my life away,
and all the literature says that I should be adjusted and having a
swingin' time by now. And I'm not. I just want to take control of my
life and make it, y'know, START, but I don't have the energy and I
wouldn't know where to begin anyway.
Sincerely,
Sufferin' Sucka-tash
Dear Sufferin' Sucka-tash,
The first year at college can be a rough time. You are adjusting to
lots of changes, like moving away from home, leaving your old friends
and support network, meeting new people, having more school work load,
and being responsible for yourself.
You are not without options, however. College is a big place, with
many opportunities to meet people. Do you have any special interests?
Perhaps you could join a club or group that focuses on one of your
interests. Joining a community service group and volunteering with
others is one such option.
Are you in any study groups? Ask a few people in one of your classes if
they'd like to get together to review for the final. Other ways of
meeting people are through extracurricular workshops, seminars, and
sports teams. For instance, at Alice's office, we offer assertiveness
training and public speaking workshops. Activities like these, where
people come together a few times to learn something new or work on a
skill they'd like to develop, can be a great place to meet other
students, as well as a way to build confidence.
It is also common to meet new people during your second, third, fourth,
and maybe fifth years of college. You'll be in different classes and you
might live in another residence hall. What happens in your first year
doesn't usually dictate what happens during the next three or four.
Patience can certainly be a virtue when it comes to forming meaningful
relationships.
If these or other ideas don't help you feel any better -- let's say, by
next May -- would you ever consider transferring to another school?
Some schools attract different types of students. What appealed to you
as a high school senior may not meet your needs now. Alice has known a
few people who were much happier in their second year at new schools.
Think about what you want out of your college experience. Excellent
academics? A competitive atmosphere? A more nurturing environment? A
larger or smaller student population? Liberal or conservative? Urban,
suburban, or rural? Far away from or close to home?
If all of these choices make your head spin, and if even more sleep is
the most appealing answer, think about talking with a counselor or
advisor -- they are at your school to help students with, y'know, A NEW
START. If you're a Columbia student, Counseling and Psychological
Services (CPS) is at x4-2468.
- Alice
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Unhappy First Year
