Start with something small. Smile and make eye contact with her for a while to make sure that she notices you. Say, "hello," if the opportunity presents itself. Watch for clues about her interests -- does she read any magazines, books, or a newspaper? You can then start a conversation based on that. "What do you think about that (fill in with today's headline)?" Or, "I've been wanting to read that book. Is it as good as they say?" Or, "Do you have so-and-so for English, too? Wasn't that a tough essay to write last week?" If the reading material idea doesn't work for you, you can always start with a comment about the bus, the weather, or something else at your stop. "This stop is really crowded (or empty) today." Or, "Sure hope this nice weather holds out. I'd really like to go on a hike this weekend." Take it slowly and see what happens. If she seems willing to chat -- great. If not, then at least you tried.

If this approach works, then you might want to introduce yourself. "You know, we've been riding the same bus for awhile now.... My name's ____________." She'll probably tell you her name. Then you can say, "It's nice to meet you." Unless you're comfortable with complimenting her, think twice before doing it. Saying something right away like, "You have the most beautiful eyes," could make both of you feel awkward. By the way, you charmed Alice with your question -- she thinks the note and rose idea is sweet, but maybe that could come after a verbal introduction.

Do you take the bus to the same place? Are you in school together? If the "chatting thing" is going well, perhaps you can suggest meeting for lunch one day. Or, ask her if she'd like to grab coffee and/or a bagel before or after you get on/off the bus. Logistics may pose a problem if you both get on and off the bus at different stops. Alice is sure you'll think of some way around it though -- "There's a great coffee shop at the next stop. Want to hop off and have a cup?"

As for your question about how to make women feel special and keep a woman's interest once you've met, Alice's advice is to go with your feelings. Be honest and genuine. Be caring, sensitive, respectful, and loving. When you hold someone dear, it shows in your actions and words. Remember that you cannot control another person's thoughts, feelings, or behavior. You don't need to do anything to keep someone interested in you. Just be yourself and enjoy the time you spend together. Let a relationship d evelop and grow naturally. Buy a rose, if you want -- but, don't feel like you have to.

Of course, Alice is getting ahead of herself. Your main concern is meeting someone -- this girl on the bus, in particular. So smile, talk casually with her, and be yourself. Keep in mind that desperation or neediness is usually obvious and unatt ractive.

Some other Alice!   questions you might find helpful are, Shyness? and Male virgin wants to be normal. Their situations might be different from yours, but you may find some of Alice's advice to them useful.

Alice

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