Dear Reader,

One beauty of human sexuality is its freedom of expression through a range of pleasure possibilities. We can satisfy ourselves with fantasies and masturbation. We can give and receive pleasure through touching, holding, kissing, and intercourse. We can involve just one or two areas of the body, or turn on everything from head to toe. We can be ourselves, and we can play games. We can let our fingers do the walking, perhaps picking up a few sex toys along the way. We can communicate our passions, or we can "take the Fifth."

We can also chip away at this "sexual constitution" by hanging labels on our thoughts and actions -- labels that act like a ball and chain around our desires. Your enjoyment of anal penetration, from whatever source, and for whatever reason, does not in and of itself mean that you are bi-, hetero-, or homosexual. Throughout our lives, we all live on a dynamic continuum of sexual desires. It is often socially and culturally influenced discomfort with sexuality in general -- let alone private behaviors not defined as "normal" -- that push us to pigeonhole our sexual thoughts and actions into comfortable and manageable boxes.

Alice applauds you for getting in touch with what flies your flag. You might share your fantasies with your girlfriend, if you think they would enhance your relationship. You can also pursue anal sex satisfaction now, later, or never, remembering that sexual experimentation of any kind does not mean a lifelong commitment. The choice is yours.

Needless to say, our right to sexual satisfaction must also respect the rights of others who may choose to follow the beats of other drummers.

Alice

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