Dear Fellatio,

This is an area where the two of you will need to negotiate and work on it together. Ask her specific questions about the point at which she starts to gag: Does her mouth feel too full? Is your penis touching the back of her throat, or the sides? Or, more important, is this something she wants to do?

Once you and your girlfriend find out more about what happens when she starts to gag, together you can try to solve the problem. If it's purely a physical thing, have her try using her hand to guide your penis into her mouth. That way, she can control when, how far, and how fast your penis will move. Try different positions, with you on your knees, lying down, with her on top, standing up, etc., to see if there is one position or another where she feels more comfortable. As with many sexual behaviors, there are many variations of oral sex, you may want to read Oral sex — Jade flute? in the Alice! Sexual health archive.  Experiment, see what works, and be willing to delay or give up your oral pleasure for other pleasures if she is unable to do it.

Alice

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