Dear Alice,
I am a twenty-three-year-old man, and I haven't had any kind of sexual
intercourse for the last year and a half. I have gone this long
because I am intimidated by women. Even though friends and women
tell me that I am attractive, I am still very self-conscious about
my physical appearance. I always feel that women will not take me
seriously because of my height (5'5"). What should I do?
— Self-conscious
Dear Self-conscious,
From the sound of your letter, it seems that you have had sexual
intercourse in your life, previous to the last year and a half.
So, don't forget that some women have already taken you seriously,
regardless of your height! You need to remember (all the time!)
that what's more important than your height itself is how you feel
about your height. If your height bothers you, and you walk around
feeling self-conscious and intimidated, people will respond to
your self-consciousness and your feelings of inadequacy. If, on
the other hand, you know that you're a good person, attractive,
and a young healthy guy, and project THAT image to the world,
women will respond to you in a different way. Sure, some women
wouldn't dream of dating a guy who's 5'5" — but some women
wouldn't dream of dating a dark-haired guy, or a guy who's 6'4",
or a guy who works on Wall Street, or a guy who is from a
particular ethnic background... So, focus on your good qualities
and meet lots of people. At some point, the chemistry will be
right, and, rather than being intimidated, you'll both be wanting to
check out each other more intimately. Good luck!
- Alice
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Too short to date?
