Dear Alice,
Three years ago, in my freshman year, I ran out of tuition money
in the middle of the spring semester. There was no one to help.
Financial aid told me I was maxed out on my loans, and I had no
place to go. I did not want to drop out. I had traveled two
thousand miles to go to school here. I could not go home. As a
last resort, I started working as call girl and I have been working
on the weekends doing that ever since. I really want to get out of
the business -- but if I do, I will have no way of paying for
school. I have no family to speak of to look to for either financial
or emotional support. Even with loans and aid, I still have to pay
$15,000 to $17,000 a year. I know it sounds like it's easy to
get out, but it's not. I'm afraid of so many things. I'm out here
all by myself. I have no friends here at school. The pressure from
school is enough; if I had to worry about money too, I'd never
make it.
I am double majoring, so I will be here next year as well, and
then law school comes next. I'm beginning to think that I will
never get out of the business. I can't see the end of the tunnel.
I'm depressed. I can't have a relationship. I can't date. Help me --
just give me direction.
—Jezebel
P.S.: I don't want to be perceived as some two-bit street hooker. I
work for a respectable agency, and it is strictly in-call (not
escort), and I am very safe and do not do any drugs or alcohol. I
really am a nice person -- I just got caught up in this work. I
guess it came easy for me because of a very sexually and
physically abusive childhood.
Dear Jezebel,
You have your direction. You want to get out of the call girl business,
you want to pay for school, and you want to feel more in control.
Your first step is to see your dean. Your dean can act as a
problem-solver. S/he can open doors for you at financial aid, career
services, or academic advisement by generating ideas, and by suggesting
the names of people who can work with you in your best interests. Discuss
your willingness to work to pay for school, as well as your need for
financial and academic strategy. Once you've developed a plan for paying
for school, your next step is to tell your boss you quit. Quitting may
seem less daunting once you have your plan in place.
In addition, make an appointment with your school's counseling service to
talk about your feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, loss of
control, current situation and goals, and childhood abuse. If you are at
Columbia, call Counseling and Psychological Services (CPS) at x4-2468 for
free, short-term counseling and support. Support groups are available for
many of these issues, including at CPS. A free support group is
also available for adult survivors of sexual abuse at St. Luke's/Roosevelt
Hospital in New York City [call (212) 523-4728 for more information].
The transition will be challenging, but with your strength, new direction,
and desire to change, Alice is confident you'll be able to achieve your
goals.
- Alice
Go Ask Alice! is not an emergency or instant response service. If you are in an urgent situation, please click here to view a list of 24 hour support services and hotlines.
Leaving the call girl business
