Dear Alice,
This might sound like a gross question, but I do need an answer! When my partner performs oral sex on me, I'm not sure if my vagina is moist because I'm wet or because I have vaginal discharge...which is what? Isn't it normal for a woman's vagina to be
somewhat moist, and to have a little discharge? When a woman gets wet, how can she tell? And know the difference between that and discharge?
Also, my partner and I haven't tried intercourse yet (I am a virgin)...I've read your previous answer to a man who said his penis might be too big for his partner; I am worried that I'm too small/tight for my partner. It doesn't look easy for him to ev
en enter, and I don't know how I can make my opening wider to accommodate him (how much foreplay, how long?). Can you only go so far without becoming wide enough?. How much pain does the woman feel? Thanks a lot!!
Signed,
Need Answers
Dear Need Answers,
You are right that it is normal for a woman's vagina to be somewhat
moist normally. As a matter of fact, the kind of mucus produced by your
cervix changes throughout your monthly cycle in response to your body's
hormone production. Your secretions can be more wet or more dry, change in
their taste from sweet to salty to sour, and be more or less thick or
viscous. Each woman has a general pattern of how her monthly cycle
proceeds, and you can follow your own cycle by feeling the entrance of
your vagina with your finger daily, looking at the secretions, being
aware of sensations of vaginal wetness or dryness, and recording these
characteristics every day for several cycles.
In terms of sexual stimulation, early on in sexual excitement, veins
in the pelvis, vulva, and clitoris begin to dilate and fill with blood,
gradually making the whole area feel full (called vasocongestion). In the
vagina, this swelling creates a "sweating reaction," producing a fluid
that makes the vaginal lips get wet -- often an early sign that a woman is
sexually excited. This fluid wets the entrance to your vagina, making
penetration easier. When your partner performs oral sex on you, the
fluids you're feeling are probably a bit of both -- some normal
woman-mucus and some of the "sweating" from sexual excitement. If you
want to be more sensitive to the difference, follow your cycle of
mucousal changes as described above, and compare your daily changes to
what happens when you're sexually aroused.
In terms of your vaginal entrance not being big enough for your
partner's penis, you perhaps did not understand Alice's previous answer.
It is
highly uncommon for a woman's body not to be able to accommodate a man's
body during sexual intercourse. The first time may be uncomfortable --
that
is not due to your bodies' being unable to fit together, but due to your
potential discomfort with the newness of the situation. If you try to
have intercourse with your partner and it doesn't feel right, let him
know. It should not be excruciatingly painful, maybe just a bit
uncomfortable. The key to finding out what's the right amount of foreplay
for you is communication. You and your partner need to experiment a bit
and talk to each other until you learn what's most pleasurable for both
of you. Sex only gets better as you stay with a partner and get to know
each other intimately with time. Don't worry, be safe, and have fun!
- Alice
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Vaginal mucus or turned on?
