Dear Don't know,

Sometimes people do have trouble with inserting a penis into a vagina, especially the first time you make love. It is usually due to the degree of stiffness of the penis combined with the degree of lubrication of the vagina. It sounds like your penis was sufficiently stiff and erect to enter your partner; so, it is probable that she was not quite ready to let you in. A vagina, however small, can normally accommodate a penis of any size providing that the vagina has become sufficiently relaxed.

Both of you need to communicate with each other, and figure out when you're physically ready for what. With the man, an erection is obvious; as a woman's readiness is less obvious, you both should know that a woman needs to be sufficiently lubricated in order for the penis to enter easily. If you try to get your penis in before she is fully aroused, she might still be too tight, even though she is wet enough. Don't rush, and tell your partner not to let herself be rushed. Even if she's feeling relaxed and sexy, timing is important. Talk to each other, take it slow, try putting a little bit of your penis in at a time instead of all at once (this can really turn some women on), use a water-based lubricant (Aqualube) on the outside of the condom or around her vaginal lips, talk to each other, touch each other, and learn how to make it work for both of you. Sex the first time with a new partner is often tough -- it only gets BETTER with good communication!

Alice

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